Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize