I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think my tv is drunk
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
