ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
