Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i've created a new STD.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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