Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
