I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
