CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize