i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
