Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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