nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
