I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
