I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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