You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
