I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
