playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
