Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
