16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
