It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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