and she was petting her beer can
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
