so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
