I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
