I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
