You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
