i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
