so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
