Kiss
Puke
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize