Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
