if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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