Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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