Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
