Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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