I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
