marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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