I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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