your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
