Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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