Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
