quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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