You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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