Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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