cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize