I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
