I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She announced her abortion via fbk
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
