she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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