can u get pink eye on your cock?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
