its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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