My friends, they love my intelligence
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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