eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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