he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
