He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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