I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Drunk is not a location!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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