i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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