On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
