i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize