You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She even gives head with a lisp.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize