who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
