in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
