Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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