We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
