I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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