I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
