i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
