At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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