Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
