why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I pour the whiskey from now on
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
